this is ridiculous

what to say when things turn out to be unexpectedly horrible from the way you plan it..wonder if life can be readable..like a novel..will it be as good as the novel itself..even if it is like in the novel..would life be that weird..

i just thought of writing this to past my time..i am off to Perak tomorrow to start my new semester..this is normal but yeah..i will try my best to boost my pointer..such low marks to start my life as an university student is bad enough for me to realize that life is not as easy as before in my school year..

till i write again..this IS ridiculous..=|

malaysian people are somehow stupid in their own way

ok..that is one heck of a controversial headline but hey..i do not care..well..you know this recent landslide occurred at bukit antarabangsa..yeah..that hellish landslide which cause a heck of major damage to the earth..you know..it does not feel like that is some big deal here..

i watch the news..i do not know when is it..maybe it was yesterday or two days ago but i do remember what i saw on tv..you see..people actually cheering on the landslide on tv..while the cameraman was shooting on the set..how well can that be..a real movie trailer or some dickass brain trying to tell the whole nation that there was a landslide..people can see it and you know what..the voice was like enjoying it..dickheads..

just now..there were actually stuffs stolen from the evacuated house..good timing huh..i guess malaysian just do not mind what happens just as long they can have all the oppurtunity to steal..

guys..if somehow you have any videos from what i am describing..please do post it..i tried to find it but somehow i could not find it..but i will surely try again later..

till i write again..

i wish i can be more understanding person

um..things have been pretty far apart for us since the start of our sem break..i guess i hurts much when it is not like what like i expected..like going out..almost everyday n stuff..it hurts..you know..i just hate when it comes down to arguing over some stupid stuff..as if we never argue before but still..it is worth it..come to think of it..i was the one who is not matured enough to understand her perfectly..

i am not the person i used to be..people change..normal..yeah it is..but still..i hate myself for changing the way i am today..hopeless..speechless..hot-headed..this fucked up feeling when you feel like you change the way you are not supposed to..do you get it..

it is like..when you plan something and it never goes the way you planned it to be..it really is frustrating..

you know..when i try so hard not to make the women i love mad..it just turned out to be something like opposite effect..you know what i mean..like never text after you just woke up knowing that your morning call will make you freakishly horrible terrible person that does not remember or listen to anything...

all and all..i just wish that i we would last as long as we could..i really miss her whenever she is not in my arms..it sounds stupid but yeah..that day when we went out..i was so sad after she went out of the car..i should have followed her back..i do not know myself..

i am so out of words..






p/s:i love you fatin syazana..

readable

i am on a roll now.2 blogs a day.it is frustrating knowing that you have something to do.but in the end.u have no interest to do it.i may not be able to go on for next semester as i freakishly forgot that i have to pre-register my course for next semester.yay me.

but you know life has so much to offer.i was thinking about going to the 'hal-ehwal pelajar' next Monday.maybe, just maybe they can help me sort something out.things are very different from what i expected as i enter my university life.things can get pretty miserable and though friends are a bundle here, they still can not be called friends.i am missing my life at school but there is nothing i can do.thinking about the past that is history and not repeating all the past mistake is all that i can think of yet i am still doing it.

-self-thinking-

p/s:thou this is so common, this is so different

about~

about life
about me
about you
about who
about her
about him
about us
about them
about it
about ____

i tend to figure how things will be without all of the above.describing things unnecessary.but still.it makes me wonder.why we were ask those kind of question everyday.

-self impression on life-


p/s: another useless blog from me.=]

fefefefefinal

finalfinalfinal..can something be compared to what im going through now..next sem will be the answer..i cannot say this is hard but still im having a lot of problems regarding this composition thingy..i have to re-do what i have done just because i put in some wrong shades in my elvation...damn..but still..its final..

you know..when you are trying so hard to get something done they will always be something to block your progress and then when you do not even noticed it..your spirit of willingness will be block to..hence,(lol) no work could be done..

ouh by the way..it has been a freaking awful week here as nothing i have done could be like procede the way i want it..''it is all about the client''..that is what architect do..creating design that no ordinary architect can do..no one holding the architect names have the same opinion about a building or a structure..some say the klcc are odd and ugly..some say it is one of the greatest..some say it is typical..but i say it is nothing compared to what i am thinking..go figure~

i see that people here are starting to show who they really are..no one wants to show it first..out of sillyness or shyness or new-ness..=.=..no one in this world show their true feelings..i myself will never show it..but when time comes..it will show themselves..=]

ouh..my blog are getting more boring than ever..till i write again~


p/s..missing my fatin..T_T

sudah mau balik

ouh..some 30 minutes till we take off..by the way..selamat hari raya to all my friends and family plus readers to this blog..

raya should be about fun stuff aite..but still do not forget something sad happen..and the sad thing will always happen everyday so just take note of it..

selamat hari raya i wish and beg forgiveness for something i have done this past years..=]


blablabla..

list of after raya activities..
1.assignment
2.work
3.art of no sleeping
4.nap
5.drawing
6.perak
7.friends
8.jo
9.eating
10.all of the above at the same time..=]

lol

ey ey..so..an update..at last..hohoho..read read my loyal readers..=]..at least im still trying to entertain you guys..=] again..lol..

today i will go on a journey..far away..to a place where almost all things start..a place where someone will cry when they were there..a place called 'kampung'..anyway..journey starts at 3 or something like that..'janji melayu' stuff..you know..nothing will be exact as they were told to be..i am very sure this raya will be something less cool than the last one..same as the last raya i went through..maybe i lost the feeling of raya..i need a new breath of raya..where new songs are created..not some old songs that are being sang back by some so called nice voice wannabe artist..dumb..make something original would you please..i am still asking nicely..=]..do not let me start telling some dumb things about artist in malaysia..espacially to the so called singers of the modern malaysia..fuuuck~

by the way..studying never been so tired since i move to seri iskandar..i know it was going to be studio-life but the art of no sleeping..new~..but life must go on yes..=]..people there does not agree much to people from architecture..they said we tend to talk and walk with our people and ignore others..so they say..they never know why..or even ask..do they even know about architecture..the thing is..art are so complicated..and architect are arts+science as p.m. ismail told the student..so how to mix our works that involve all that to something more to just art or just science..=.=

the thing is..im mixing up stories yes..=]..

im hyper for writing and i did not have much time writing when i am at seri iskandar..yay me..ouh yeah..next post shoul be something to do with myspace..wait for it..=]

till i wrote again..which is after i sleep and take some sweet nap..-_-zzZ

this is my life..

perak itu boring+jauh dari orang yang kusuka+tiade kehidupan+rokok yang bersepah+pil yang bertaburan+tiada masa untuk tidur+mata yang sakit+bersama rakan+nasib yang sama+kerja yang bertimbun+jiwa yg kosong+pergaduhan yang sentiasa terjadi+melukis+menyanyi+menari+seronok+indah+kehidupan yang sebenar+minda yang sentiasa dikatakan pelik+dipanggil kerek+dinamakan arkitek+tiada masa nak mandi+duit digunakan seperti sampah+masa makan yang sangat susah untuk dinikmati+orang yang memahami+simbol yg dipanggil "infiniti"= hidup aku

blablabla dadadadada

hye..i have not write anything for some time...i just dont think i have time to write freely anymore...i spend more time killing myself...im taking pills...smoking like eating..what i have been doing this past months are all shit..i feel sorry for myself but seriously..even when i think what i am doing are giving a real bad impact to myself..i do not really care...i just want to live my life the way that it leads me...i do not make my own road...well not after i was accepted to uitm seri iskandar...my life is nothing but a walking shadow...so shakespear was right...but still i do not feel any satisfaction yet...


ouh yeah..since i barely have time to write...i spill all my thoughts in one section..cool huh...

by the way...it has been a long time since i really fell in love with someone...the last time i could remember was my 1st love...haha..damn mengarut..okeoke.. by the way...for me to love someone will be something called freakishlyplutolikerareoccassion...duh...feelings..who can describe others feeling when they can not even describe their own feeling...feelings show..not in words...unless you are shakespear or someone that is very poetic as he is then feelings = words..freak ass...ouh..i have not mention her name yet...let it be something to ask about..wee~

ouh..hey..i got this one week off from university...so on saturday...i went to watch movie with her...it was very not emotional meeting after a long time cause she just laugh at my hair..im bold..sooo...but yeah..i do feel the love i guess...then on monday i went out with affiq..on wednesday i went out wif my schoolmate and guys from uitm..=]..cool and exciting..but all the week never feel perfect...fuck this emo feeling..i miss my love...i was planning to make some suprise meeting but still something so fucking annoying keep coming up...so we can not get whatever we want in life but holding her in my arms are all i ask for...sory for not coming to see you..i hate myself for that...

i really do not feel like returning to perak now...if only this off day last for a week more than i will surely spend every moment i can with her...she really makes my life better..


end my blog here guys...till i write again...

p.s. all the long stuff on myspace...both long and short stuff on blogspot..=]

=.=

lol...perlis is where i am now...

visit me anytime guys...

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaasse....

this place is fucking damn bored but still people here are crazy....

still happy as i can be...

but still missing my place a lot..

googoo

ok..no update for like a week or so...

life pretty much don't offer anything new so nothing interesting to write though...

but still...

i guess there will be an awful lot of update once i moved to Perlis...

wait for me guys...

p/s:i hate moving but i love being far away from my family sometimes..

today~

perlis...a week away from this day...

wish me all the best...

and im still hoping for a miracle that can make me go to uitm shah alam...

p/s:just got back from a badminton game...i suck pretty damn much..8]

a word that speaks

hye

hello, how's life...wonderful enough to be happy..?

yeah...i guess so...last week was a blast of happiness...but still i miss my chance to say farewell to my gud friend who flew to france last sunday...

ouh...that's sad...but i doesnt matter...she understands it dearly i supposed...

i sure do hope so...

well now...how about your love life...anything intresting..?

urm...i dont know...same old same old i guess..its been long since i fell in love...i guess i was like...2 years ago...i dont even know how beautiful it is anymore...

uh..thats is kinda sad...

it is...maybe i should ask someone to hook me up..damn...but still...i prefer being like this for the very moment...maybe i'll find someone better in my life...

hey..wait...what about her...?

ouh...urm..im very good at making women hate at me...i guess it's better for me to ignore till she hates me...then i'll try to make it up till we become friends again..

i see...that is so you eventhough it's kinda wrong...it really is up to you...

yeah...well...im going to perlis this 28jun so maybe something good will happen..im putting my hope on it..

good for you then...life will definitely go forward...eventhough you want to go back..it just wont be the same anymore...thats how life works..

got that...

im blabbering...

i know...

any topics...

nope~
ouh yes...an update..

yupyup...

till next time...

bye~


taken from my myspace blog dated- June 10 2008-

ouh today

hye guys...an update...again...will i ever get bored of this...hell yeah...

so..i went to hotstage gig today...a great event in a small hall...go figure...so i start leaving home at some 11am..or something like that..arrive in klsentral..waiting...a friend of mine..

know what...i hate writing biography...so on with the gig...

so i went in the hall around 2pm...ouh yeah...the gig starts way long before that..who cares...came in...trying to move to the front..end up standing in the middle because it was so damn packed and all the guys were like moshing around..a reminder...dont start mosh right away when u enter any gig..it will really get you wasted pretty damn fast...i know cause i usually do it...go me~

ok...anyway...on to the drama...because i was so wasted i went out to get some fresh air..not so fresh i must say because of the smoke...but still...no complaints cause i smoke too...go me~ again...i went back up the hall being refresh...on the way up..there this guys yelling stop to me...i guess..and said 'bro..nk tshirt...'
i replied with a blur face on 'uh..next time a bro..tga penin pale a..=]..'

seacrh for a place to sit..have a sit...then came afiq...with no glasses on..it was weird but i guess because it was beacause of the moshing..he did went to the stage...then he look at me with a grin and said 'nap..speck aku ilang dow..camne aku nk blk huh' ouh...it was around 7pm at that time..so on skipping the bla bla part...we decided to head back after buying a t-shirt...

blablabla...afiq used my glasses which dont give any effect at all..he cant even see the road sign clearly and still asking which way is the way...fuck him..well..at least i got back home safe and sound...writing this thing...

p.s. i dont really have much to do at home...

until next time...

taken from my myspace blog dated-may 26 2008-

how is it like to be me....

ouh...hye guys...so...ive just decided to blog my day today on my wy back home...that is...at around 10.30 like that...nothing much happens...same old same old...but hey...who cares...i dont...well...here goes...

so..i woke up this morning around 8am..i guess...yeah...so i do miss my subuh prayers...but im pretty sure im going to make it up somehow...then i just turn on my pc..login to my myspace and friendster account...still nothing much...same old same old..no one intresting so i logoff and head straight to my tv and tune on mtv with my blanket...still wrap around me and go on napping at the sofa...my mum comes down...i say have a nice day working...yeah like hell it will be a nice day working...but i do think that what every parents wants to hear...so with me having an insomnia problems...it is hard to get back to my wonderland...so i head straight to shower...a short one but very meaningful i must say so...

ok..next...i give a call to my friend..actually...a lot of it..asking weather they go to klcc or not...some say yes some say nope and some say 'the number you have dialled is not available, please try back later'....fuck them...so by 11am i get a masage saying 'wey...aku tetdo dow td...siot a..ko kt ne..' if im not mistaken..so i replied 'fuck you' and call him...arrange the meeting place...and yeah..thats it..

day goes by...i walk to the train station...waiting for the slow ride to come..by the time the train arrive...my friend text me 'weh ko kt ne...aku nek teksi g klsentral..' and i replied 'ouh..oke...tggu la lame...stgh jam lg smpi a tuh...weee~'...so that is it..nothing much when im on board the train..same old same old...

so i arrived at klsentral around 12pm+...seacrhing for my friends and found them in a nickle of time..aha...send one of them to work and we're off to klcc...so as we arrived there...i call a friend of my which texting me like hell asking where the hell am i..i meet him and the rest of the team...we talk and talk..stuffs..we ate somethings..we took some pictures...and im off with some of them playing pool...and the rest is history...lol...

not quite done yet...yeah...how to fill in a day in a blog...it must be long and boring...so it is not a wonder why this blog wont be a hit...

then after done playing...we went back to klcc...saw a fight...not some teenagers fight but adults fight..nothing much but scream here and there...then one of us went to catch a movie...two of them went back home..leaving me and a friend of mine standing there...with a blur face on...so we dicided to walk to pavillion...meet my old classmate and also my friends ex-girlfriend..it was a long meeting because she was having a break and we were like talking for an hour non-stop..wee~...

after that we went to time square...went inside metrojaya...and yeah..looking for our schoolmate...talk talk talk...nothing much...and soon after that we went to arcade..play some games...i lose my tennis match twice in a row...damn..he was a pro...and so on...

duh...i have a hard time writing onwards..but still this day has not finished yet..

so after that...we dicided to go to midvalley...meet some friends...yeah i know...a lot of friends meeting we have going on right now...but who cares..her last day at work...so we were like spend sometime talking...then we went to my old workplace...confiming my paycheck has been bank in...some additional info about an office guy..a gay...intrested with my old colleage..sure it is hard to understand guys nowadays...how to pleasure a stick with a stick...then we head off to my friends old workplace...meet some old colleage of his...borakborakborak...play 3 games of pool...again...it is hard to find the pleasure of putting a ball in a hole but it sure is a great game to kill our time for sure...by then it was 9pm++ and we decided to head back home...ouh..i forget to mention our visit to our old workplace..but nothing much happen so just skip that...

heading home...blablabla...waiting for the train to arrive...have some quality time sitting on the floor..no seat are available...so who cares..people do stare but yeah..they dont know me so i dont even care either...arrive home at 11pm or so i think i do...turn on my pc...have a shower...and writing this awesomely carzy long blog which i dont think it will be a hit...and yeah...the day will end in some 10minutes more...and still writing...

peeps...i you do read this...give me a kudos or two...i appreciate it...haha..that is it folks...
till i write again~


taken from my myspace blog dated-may 22 2008-

rockstar poem....

rockstar, and rockstar, and rockstar
creeps i this petty ear
from gig to mp3
to the last syllable of the recorded album
and then it is heard on the radio
it is a lyric told by a band
full of show and gig
signifying nothing.
____________________________________________________________

shall i compare thee to a rockstar gig
thou art more ugly and cold
rough moshing due shake the darling butts of mens
and rockstar lease hath all to short a life
and often their golden voice dimm'd
and every show from show sometimes being rushed
by chance or cop, showing for mat indon, bangla
but thy eternal ugliness shall not beforgotten
nor shall new artist brag thou wand'rest in his shade
when in internal lyrics to time thou grow'st
so long as man go to gig, or download your music
so long live thee and this give life to rockstar
_____________________________________________________________


taken from my myspace blog dated-may 16 2008-

a thing to remember...

helo...
so...a week without my laptop...maybe someone will think i've forgotten bout them....i dont care much...just so you know...i remember everyone i meet for the past 6 years i guess...more than that...im not very sure....but i still remembeer some name...and possibly no one cares but me...

ok...thats the intro....
i went to amani's house yesterday...there was a farewell party for her...she'll be flying to us next month...gudluck to her...i will really miss her because she's like the only one that can plan something and ask all of my late friends to come and sit facing each other face with a smile...which is a very hard thing to do nowadays....all of them including me have change...whether in bad or god ways...but still...it is all about whether you accept it or not...i myself do decline some change but still move on with my life..try to think why god put our eyes infront of our face and not at the back...that should probably because in life there are only one choice and that is moving foward...but of course there are many way for that to happen....

enough with the crap...so i arrive there somewhere around 3-4....i dont even remember...nothing much happen during the early evening because it takes time to mix with them again...so time pass....and afiq came...and me to sleepover and i say ok...cool with that...i hangout at amani's crib till 10 and meet some new friends...i remember she introduce me to nab ika and shoq...if my freaking memory is working well...idk....after that we just hangout around the park...it was cool...we talk...laugh....it wasnt that easy going since there are some kids with us...and i really have to smoke far away from them of course but kids...they'll follow you anywhere...but it was fun...

blablabla...so this is the part when we start to play truth or dare...well...most of us take dare...fuck the truth...haha...i remember the part when aina have to take the 'pakguard's phone number...hoho..the guard even say that aina look like a model...hahaha...oke...cool stuff...amani have to roll half of the basketball court...it must be freaking dizzy...afiq have to kiss que...a romantic scene....lol...i have to sit in a trash bin and wear the cover onto my head...sucks...but fun...nab wearing my shirt...i know it wasnt that smelly..and shahrul have to pose like a gay...cool and fun...

after that we all like so damn hungry and dicided to buy some roti canai and some snacks...well some rm34 was used...and no one care...thanks aina...after that nothing much happen...we all like sit around the court and everyone was like having the time of their life and some unwanted things happen...stuff...but still...a night to remember....

so everything ended around 4a.m. i guess...i sleep at afiq's crib....and went back to my boring house around 9a.m....so that basically is it...

i dont know if i will meet my friend again like that but i do hope someday i will...even it wont be the same like the old times......

know what...im so out of ideas...till i write again....bye~


this was taken from my myspace blog dated -may 11 2008-